For a married couple, sexual intimacy is an important factor for a satisfying, lasting marriage and relationship. While some couples have no problems relating their sexual desires and needs to their spouses, others may, and this can be frustrating for both, when they fail to find the right words or right way to communicate their feelings across. So, what causes such a barrier?

Sexual Myth

Most of the time, sexual myths are just myths. It is almost impossible to satisfy your spouse without trying to communicate with her/him, as we cannot read each other’s minds. And the general assumption of what should work might differ for each individual.

Sexual Fear

Being too shy to talk to one’s spouse about the topic, or is in fear of being rejected by one’s spouse for such a ‘silly’ idea, or afraid that they don’t have enough knowledge regarding the topic to discuss; these are the common fears associated with sex which can almost spoil any effort in cultivating a better intimate relation.

Negative Beliefs in Sex

Especially for people who are very conservative, sex is often viewed a dirty act that only serves to procreate. With such mindset, it is no wonder why they’d find it hard to discuss anything related to intimacy with their spouse. When one didn’t know how his/her spouse feel, how does one try to make it better?

Lack of Information

How can a conversation begin when both parties do not have the basic information of the topic? It is a sad, but not surprising fact, in our more conservative society that some married couples still don’t have adequate info when it comes to sex and intimacy. This in turns erode their confidence in communicating their desires to their spouses, while perpetuating myths and negative beliefs.

Privacy Boundaries

A person’s sense of privacy and propriety also affects the quality of such communication. Adequate privacy is needed for the mood to communicate, but some instead used privacy as an excuse to avoid the topic, shy and fear being the main reasons.

To be willing to open up oneself to another individual, even if that individual is one’s spouse, is like exposing one’s own vulnerabilities to another. While it may seem daunting, if both spouses could understand their own comfort zones and respect their other half’s, communication is possible, thought it may take time.